I am the first to admit, we men as a sex rather than a race do some stupefyingly annoying things. In the eyes of women everywhere, especially those in a relationship with us, we can be as irritating as sand in the bikini at the best of times.

But, during a chance conversation with my mother and one of my three sisters today, I had the opportunity to settle the score somewhat, in the favour of my male colleagues, my brothers-in-arms as it were.

The original discussion was between the two females and developed around the fact that one brother-in-law never takes out the recycling bin when it’s full unless asked to by his spouse. This was made out to be even more frustrating as he has to walk past it on his way to go outside for a smoke (he uses on of these ridiculous vapour things now, but still goes outside.)

After another suffering in law was berated in his absence for not putting dishes into the dishwasher but instead in the sink directly above the machine, I had to speak out in defence of the normally stronger sex, particularly as my nephew, a young teen, was being castigated along side his father for the same crimes.

As I said then, as I will always say, it is not that men don’t want to do the right thing, its just that when we thing we do, we are generally wrong anyway. Especially if we do exactly, to the letter, what we were told off for not doing previously.

An example you say?

I have often arrived home from work or the plot to find washing on the line in the garden, noticed it has started to rain so decided, in my mind correctly and helpfully, to gather in said dry laundry before it gets wet again. Good idea I hear men chorus as one.

Except for when the rain stops as suddenly as it started and the washing is in a basket in the house when lovely wife arrives home.

“Did you get the washing in?”

“Yes, it was starting to rain.”

“I was airing it. The fresh air was to freshen it up and it didn’t rain, it just spotted.”.

“Sorry, (wrong for doing right again), I’ll pop it back out if you like.”

“No (big sigh) I’ll do it myself, you always hang it wrong any way..”

Sound familiar?

I have telephoned my lovely and faultless wife before to check I should get the washing in when it’s starts to rain before now. This is because nearly thirty years of married bliss have made me question what would otherwise be obvious and logical decision.

It’s the same with the recycling bin and Big G, my poor fellow sufferer. Had he taken the bins out, emptied the cans and bottle into the outdoor bins he would possibly have incurred the not unimpressive wrath of my delightful sister had she been waiting for the bin to be empty so she could wash it out, or some similar reason.

And who hasn’t been caught out by setting of a washing cycle for just a few items or put dirty plates in with clean ones by mistake when filling a dishwasher that is actually waiting to be emptied?

How about seeing someone has started painting a wall and deciding to help by finishing the job, only to discover they were testing a colour, deciding against it and had gone off to choose a different shade of paint?

My ultimate classic husband gaff?

I used to put my used dishes, glasses or cutlery directly into the sink after use, more so if there was already soapy water and some items in there.

But now I check first.

Why?

Drinking glasses, or any glassware, doesn’t go in the same mix with roasting tins, gravy covered items or any other fatty or greasy item.

I know this now, but then, as I pointed out earlier, I’ve had nearly thirty years of training.

Happy Christmas Gentlemen, and good luck with that after Christmas Dinner minefield!

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