I have been revisiting some things and people from my past. There have been changes in the last few years, as with all of our lives. The framework remains constant but the body modifies to suit the surroundings.
I have wasted a lot of time over my adult life regretting too many things I haven’t done, places I haven’t been and status symbols I haven’t achieved. I say wasted and yes, I mean wasted.
One of the things I have just decided to revisit is a book I borrowed from the local library, out of curiosity, some twenty or more years ago.
After attempting to read it the first time , I returned it unfinished but it had me hooked by then, so I borrowed it a few more times over the following years. Then, as a surprise, my family bought be a copy for my birthday one year. A slightly battered,dog eared copy form an online ‘cherished’ book seller site, a previously loved and well thumbed copy from someone who obviously enjoyed it as much as I did.
It wasn’t until many years later again when I saw the book featured in an American comedy series that I realised it is actually a classic. The male lead was getting over excited about a silver anniversary edition that was worth thousands and was explaining how it is the ‘self reflection’ bible amongst men the world over.
Reading it again, as I am now,it made me realise that my life has been a road trip. One thing that has become clear is that I have taken maybe not the fastest route to the top but I have enjoyed a scenic,winding journey through the country lanes, meeting the locals along the way and taking in the views.
As Robert Pirsig explained in his volume, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, driving in a car is seeing the world around through a different T.V. screen. Sat in a compartment, a metal box, you are removed from the reality. Taking only A roads, avoiding the parts of the map that show straight lines from town to city, you find yourself making good time, but with the emphasis on ‘good’ not ‘time.
That has been how my life has taken me.
I have come to my present stopping point and I can look back at recall friends that have come and gone, those places I have been and things I have done and know I have had a full and varied ride. Nothing has flashed past the window so fast that it became a blur. I have ridden a bike most of the distance so I have felt the breeze not the air conditioning. I have been able to touch the ground beneath my wheels not the cosy carpet.I have truly experienced first hand the rough and smooth and not just watched it pass by from the sterile comfort of a mobile living room.
I may not have gone as far as some, but the destination does not reflect the journey.
I ow have a better feeling about where I am because I have finally found the value in how I have arrived here.


2 thoughts on “Travels with myself.

  1. I did enjoy this post. Its making me think about my life and whether I feel the same. I dont think I have wasted my life and opportunities but I wonder what opportunities would have come my way if I had taken a different route through life. If I had ignored my parents and gone to horticultural college, if I hadnt married my ex etc etc. However, I having made sacrifices for the last 17 years while I brought up my boys on my own I now find myself in a position with doors opening into a world I have wanted to be part of since a teenager


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